Okay, so yesterday I said that I was kind of having a weird week and not feeling my absolute best. WELL. It seems as though fandom doesn't want me to have a bad week. FANDOM ISN'T GOING TO ALLOW ME TO HAVE A BAD WEEK BY REPEATEDLY THROWING ME AWESOME THINGS UNTIL I COLLAPSE UNDER THE VERY WEIGHT OF IT AND FLAIL MYSELF INTO A VORTEX OF SQUEE. I shall just have to accept this.
This week has already given me Bradley James with a twitter and Rule Ten updates that left me clapping my hands in glee. Then came lots of new Inception stills, which basically reaffirmed my belief that EAMES IS THE AWESOMEST OKAY.
But that wasn't enough. OH NO. Then came the high-res poster for Warrior with TOM HARDY EYEFUCKING ME ALL OVER THE PLACE
AND LOOKING SO SWEATY AND LICKABLE I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. YOU KNOW, BESIDES LICK HIM.
AND THEN. AND THEN
. Last night, we got the news that JGL has been confirmed for TDKR
sldkgjdls;ghjda; OH MY GOD. And okay, the truth is that I've been treating this news like it's been confirmed for a couple weeks now, but this means that now I will not end up brokenhearted so YAY \o/ And I love love love the pic they chose of bb dimpleface for the article (his hair, I want to touch his hair OH YES) only it was so teeny tiny, so let's fix that, shall we?
DIMPLES SHOULD ALWAYS BE BIG :D And YOU GUYS. THESE THINGS. THEY ARE SO AWESOME
. The poster alone was enough to make my Friday, so when the JGL news came out, I was positively gleeful, and I went to bed feeling like the happiest fangirl ever. So when I woke up this morning at 6:00 on a freaking Saturday wtf wtf, I couldn't even feel a tiny bit grumpy because OMG TOM HARDY AND JGL IN BATMAN TOGETHER HOLY SHIT THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Think of the fic and the joint interviews and the shadow boxing on set
*flail flail flail* And then I checked tumblr, only to find something even more awesome
just waiting for me.
Because I am the luckiest girl ever, and because Tom Hardy is not an actualfax real person (see my mathematical proof here
) we now have the short film Sergeant Slaughter, My Big Brother
, in which Tom Hardy takes off all his clothes and shows off his extremely lickable body, available online, where we can watch it, repeatedly, AND THEN FLAIL ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE TOM HARDY'S COCK
ETA:OMG YOU GUYS WHERE DID IT GO?? IT WAS THERE AND I WATCHED IT AND THEN I WATCHED IT AGAIN (AND OKAY AGAIN AND AGAIN) BUT NOW IT IS GONE AND I STILL HAVE IT OPEN IN A TAB BUT IT'S NOT AT THE WEBSITE ANYMORE AND WHY IS IT NOT THERE ANYMORE D:
IT HAS BEEN FOUND AGAIN \o/
Do you remember those caps that came out where we were all like OMG TOM HARDY SCULPTING WHILE SHIRTLESS NNNNNNGH ARM?
Well, it turns out he's not shirtless after all. I mean he is
, obviously, but that is not all. HE IS NOT JUST WITHOUT A SHIRT IS WHAT I AM SAYING TO YOU. RIGHT AFTER THIS HAPPENS, HE GETS UP FROM THE TABLE AND WE SEE THAT HE IS IN FACT WITHOUT ANY CLOTHING AT ALL. THIS IS A GLORIOUS THING MY FRIENDS. He is so naked, you guys. SO TOTALLY NAKED. And lsdjgs;hjs he looks so good oh my god. He's slimmer than he's looked recently, but OH MY LORD HIS THIGHS ARE A THING OF BEAUTY. And really, someone should compose an epic ode to his magnificent ass because JESUS CHRIST TOM HARDY WHAT EVEN.
This is not a flash of nudity. This is not a blink and you'll miss it kind of a thing. Blink a couple times. Close your eyes for a minute or two. When you open them, you'll still get to see TOM HARDY'S COCK. We see it head on. We see it in profile. WEE SEE IT IN MOTION WHEN HE WAGGLES IT AROUND
BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE IS IN FACT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
And yes, I realize this is not the first time we've seen it, since Tom Hardy is ridiculous and perfect and not fucking real
, and has dropped his pants with somewhat alarming frequency, but this is all new angles and lighting and TOM HARDY'S COCK
There's an article here
about the short film festival where Sergeant Slaughter was shown, which is full of typos and random capitalization, but it's okay because Tom Hardy stuns the World. WITH HIS COCK.
DEAR UNIVERSE. I GIVE UP. YOU WIN. THIS WEEK WAS FUCKING AWESOME ♥
P.S. Please tell me someone has it saved. I mean, this is the internet. NOTHING DISAPPEARS FOREVER.
sldkfhdsl CRISIS AVERTED. THE PEEN HAS BEEN LOCATED
. ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD AGAIN.